You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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