three words: i give head
three words: not that well
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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