yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
