do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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