are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
