Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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