love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
