I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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