Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
