on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
