i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
