You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
