we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
