I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
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