Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Also, beer. Big fan.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
