Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
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you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
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Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
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