no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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