I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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