I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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