THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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