Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
