Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
