So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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