Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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