apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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