i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
