every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
