the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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