can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
