She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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