Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
you would pick up someone in the library
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
