wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
