Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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