When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
