you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize