how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Randomize
