I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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