You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
