mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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