Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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