What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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