Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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