And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
