Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize