Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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