the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
