For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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