So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
