It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
