It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
