Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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