You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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