No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize