I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Operation Purity has been aborted
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Randomize
