this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
