Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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