I hate all girls vehemently.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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