Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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