So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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